Wednesday, February 22

unexplained symptoms

This is a summary of how my body is betraying my brain. And I.
It all started some time after I met him.
Nothing was amiss, no symptom was apparent, but then out of nowhere, my body started a riot.
The organs of my body are making an alliance with one another, and dearest brain is not invited.
“Let’s  make this hooman confused!” is their war-cry.
My insides melt when I catch a glimpse of him. Melt. This is not one of those trashy romance novels. What the fuck, internal organs?
My stomach is no better. It turns into a factory to create uneasy butterflies, flapping their wings around inside my guts as if they are tripping on narcotics.
And don’t get me started with my heart. Its erratic beat is making me unfocused. It’s making my skin shiver. Nevermind the fact that my insides are boiling.
If veins are highway for the running blood, the ones behind my cheeks must be suffering a traffic jam, because all the blood go there.

Meanwhile, the brain is working hard to explain this situation.
There must be a logical reason behind this batshit craziness.
Something must have happened to me. Something scientific. Not a lame notion like love or infatuation.
Meh, those hopeless romantics.
Maybe a spider had bitten me, causing a neural disturbance which results in those butterflies-like feeling.
Maybe I have an allergic reaction which causes my heart to beat faster.
It surely has nothing to do with his smile.
Or the way he knows a lot about a lot.
Or the way his eyes light up when he talks about a newly-released game.
Nuh-uh. Not happening.

Days pass. And some more days. Then turn into weeks. And some more weeks.
Still no answer.
Apparently the logical brain that I’ve always been proud of is not that reliable.